Lana Schwartz is a comedian using comedy to spread her lifesaving message for women to have a mammogram. Her show “Lovely Lady Lump” http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/entertainment/adelaide-fringe/comedy/adelaide-fringe-review-2017lana-schwarcz-lovely-lady-lump/news-story/4b25e66ce7f2189fb32bcda4cef48e85 received rave reviews at the recent Adelaide Fringe Festival and she featured in a Channel 10 clip https://www.facebook.com/tenadelaide/videos/1363036930427716/ involving a colleague of mine, Associate Professor Wendy Ingman, who leads informd (www.informd.org.au).
OK Lana, are you ready?
“What is the funniest thing that has happened to you recently?”
I recently went swimming in Blairgowrie beach and as I stepped onto some rocks on the way back in, I thought “gee, they feel a little ‘pinch-y’. Then I thought, “you know, I think they also feel a little move-y”. I looked down to discover that they weren’t rocks, but a massive once yearly migration of thousands and thousands of spider crabs walking into the shallows to moult their shells. I mean, I didn’t know that at the time, all I knew was “OH MY GOD THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF CRABS! THOUSANDS! CRABS!!! I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND!!! THOUSANDS. OF. CRABS!!!! UNDER ME! AROUND ME! C.R.A.B.S!!!”
Needless to say, I had a small kiniption. Which is yiddish for “a minor (really major) freak out”.
Is that funny? I don’t know. More like a luck thing – just happened to be in the right place at the right time. But it’s all I’ve thought about in the last day.
“You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why?”
Yellow! Because all kids draw massive yellow suns in their drawings and I know I’d be used the most and painted with a big happy smile on my face each time.
“Why do you feel so strongly about women getting a mammogram?”
Because it saved my life. Literally. It CERTAINLY saved my breasts, that’s for sure. The lump was so deep and the tissue so dense (though I now know that density doesn’t contribute to how breasts feel) that even after the mammo and when we KNEW WHERE it was, it STILL wasn’t palpable. By the time we’d have been able to feel it, it’d be a completely different story – perhaps one without such a happy ending – after all, thanks to a very studious radiographer in 2014, I am healthy enough to step onto a migration of spider crabs in 2017.
I personally believe women with dense breasts should be given the choice to know.
Also, re: mammos – I KNOW that so many women are scared to be screened, because they’re scared they will find something. I can kind of understand that.
But what they don’t understand, is that finding something is a GOOD thing. Because they’ve found it. And if they find it, especially if they find it early, they can do something about it. If they DON’T find it, because you never went, THEN you’re screwed.
So…. go. get. screened.
“What would the title of your autobiography be?”
“This is my first experience being an interviewer, so as my first interviewee, what question should I have asked you?”
Haha! Gosh! Not sure. I get bored answering the same questions over and over, so actually, this was quite a good and different experience. Keep at it!